“I want to use you, soon.” “Have your chrome dildo, vibrating dildo, new nipple clamps and a plug.” Those were the words sent to me by my Master James. I could feel my heart skip a beat then rapidly begin to pump. My reply was a simple one of, “How soon?” His reply was instant, “Ten minutes.” I knew he wanted to allow enough time to get the items requested and undress. He didn’t need me to dress for him, fix my hair or do my makeup. He wanted me as I was in that moment and he would have me just so.
It was these moments or even just the thought of these moments that once sent me over the edge. I would begin to tremble, cry and become filled with trepidation. I have a fear of anything that involves seeing my reflection. Mirrors, camera, camcorders, windows or anything else reflective. My Master has never exerted his authority in a manner which left me feeling insecurely vulnerable. He has always been reassuring in the use of my safeword and that he would respect me always. When I could not cam he never waivered in his want of me. He showed me in every way possible that it was me he wanted. It was my mind, my obedience, my heart and my submission that were his most prized possessions.
Things began to change for me when one day I decided to just remove my clothing and put on a robe. I stood in front of my laptop, turned on the camera and pressed record. I stood there and removed the robe then preceded to slowly turn around so he could see all of me. I ended the recording and emailed it to him before I could think too hard on it. The next morning after he had seen it, he messaged me and was so thankful for the trust I had given him and courage I had shown. From there we planned a video call date and now I have done this a few times. With each video call I can see myself not thinking of my image but of my Master’s pleasure. Camming is still not easy for me but what we share makes it plausible. When our call ends I will think, “How could you have done that?” My response to myself is, “Because my Master’s pleasure is my pleasure.”
Beautiful blog vix. You are growing stronger in this area every day. And that pic…OMG! Stunning!
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Thank you csp. You have been here with me as I grow. Hugs…xx
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