To my Master…

I am a Submissive to a wonderful Master, but what makes me Submissive? When such topics as Dominants and Submissives are discussed amongst my vanilla friends, it seems the consensus is that a Submissive is weak and doesn’t have a mind of their own. I don’t understand this. I am a very strong willed person with a mind of my own. I love the organization and power of some parts of my life but I also love the feel of releasing such power. To have someone control what it is I can do or how I should do it. For me, I find comfort in pleasing my Master and in not having to make every detailed decision in these moments. I think it takes a stronger person to let go and trust in another to choose for them and to trust that they will be kept safe. We do place ourselves in dangerous situations at times, but when cared for by a great Dominant, we are always truly safe. We have the power to pause or stop play. So are we weak? No, we are still very much powerful and in charge in many ways. We hand over control to our Dominants knowing that at any time we can say our safe word and take back part or most of it. I only wish that I could feel the embrace of my Master after play or punishments and the kind words I know he would speak. My Master doesn’t live near me and I am not sure we will ever meet in person but I can tell you that he is always with me. I carry him everywhere I go and I strive to make him proud of me. I am lucky to have the Master I have and I will cherish all our days together. He doesn’t see me as weak and he tells me I carry all the Aces. What he means is that I give myself and can stop things at any time. He cares for me in ways I never thought I needed to be cared for. He has given me more than I ever thought to have and has shown me that I have more value than I ever saw in myself. To my Master: I am yours…xx

Our Pleasurable Tryst…

I’ve waited for this day for so long. I have had thoughts and dreams of how it would come to pass. My heart is racing and my breathing has quickened. I dare not move from where my Master told me to stand. I hear the door open, again I dare not move, and hear his steps as they come closer towards me. He places his hands on my shoulders and slowly lowers the straps of my dress pulling them down towards my waist. There he wraps his hands about my waist and pulls my body back towards his. I can feel his body tense as he holds me tightly. The feel of his cock upon my ass has me groaning to have him take me now. He won’t. That is not what tonight is about. He brushes my hair away from my shoulder and takes a bite. It is the greatest sensation of pain and pleasure. I feel like I could burst from the heat of my body. I feel him release his hands only to have him tug at my dress and pull it completely down. Nothing is left but my exposed body. No underwear and no shoes. Those were my Master’s instructions.

Master steps away from me once again and I hear him searching for something from the desk in the corner of the room. Then I hear it. The sound that always brings a smile to my face and trepidation to my skin. It is the sound of my lead, which I know is attached to my collar. I hear him stepping forward and I immediately extend my hands out palms facing up. He lays the lead on my hands as he lifts the collar to place around my neck. I don’t dare let my lead slip from my hand or it will cost me a slash upon my breast with it. I can feel the collar around my neck snug and tightly secured. Master walks in front of me and takes the lead from my hands and begins to walk me out of the room. I have no clue why we are leaving the room. There is everything we could possibly use here. A desk, chair, sofa and toys.

We step out of the room and he walks me towards the living room where I can now hear whispers. As we turn the corner I can see where the whispers are coming from. There are four men sitting, drinking and talking. Master walks me towards the wall where there is a metal holder in place and he hooks the end of my lead to it. I stand there facing the wall knowing my back and ass are exposed to the viewing of my Master and these men. Before I can fully grasp what is happening, I feel the smack of a hand on my ass and the spread of heat. I am not even fully aware if it was my Master or another until I hear my Master tell me to count and thank him for the spanking. I say, “Thank you Master. That is one, Sir.” He then says to keep counting. I continue, “Two Sir, three Sir, four Sir” and I continue to count to twenty. My Master stops and I can feel the warmth spread about my entire ass. My Master begins to gently caress my back from shoulder down towards my ass where I can feel the sting, every time he touches me. Then it all stops and I feel him touching me no longer though I know he is standing very close behind me. I can feel his presence, his stare and I can hear his breathing, as it is now less controlled. He steps back away from me and I can hear the sound of him picking something up. I hear his steps approaching ever closer to me until he reaches my side and whispers, “You are loved and you are mine. Count for me my Sub.” Then he is behind me again, but before I know what I am about to count for, I feel it. The whoosh and sting of a whip across my back. “One Sir, two Sir, three Sir…” I continue to count as I feel the whip slash across my back, ass and thighs. Master keeps going until I reach the count of thirty and I know what I must say. “Thank you Master.” He steps forward and says, “Good girl.”

Master steps away once more and my mind is everywhere. My body is sore and tender and I can hear the sound of zippers, whispers, clothing shuffling and heavy breathing. He returns to rub a soothing ointment on me while telling me how well I have done and how proud he is of me. Then he unhooks my lead and leads me to a coffee table where the men are. I can see they are all naked just like my Master now is. He has me stop at one end of the table while he walks to the other tugging at the lead. I fully understand what my Master wants. I lean forward and place my hands flat upon the table looking at him as he nods to assure me I have done precisely as he has wanted. I stay there, I dare not move an inch, as he releases the lead and walks back around to my side of the table. There he places one hand on my waist and with the other he begins to rub my clit and enter me with his finger making me wet and getting me ready for him. I can see the men standing around me begin to stroke their cocks and I can feel my body coming to life. My breathing has quickened and I shift my eyes from one man to the next taking it all in. I am so sexually aroused that I have forgotten about the pain and was ready for my Master to offer me my reward. My reward would be his hard cock roughly pounding into me. I climax from Master fingering me while watching these men stroking themselves. I now feel Master’s other hand on my waist and I know he is ready to take me. He enters in one swift hard thrust and doesn’t stop. I am wet and wanting. I love the feel of every thrust inside me, the feel of my body being hit and thrown forward then pulled back to him again and again. The men begin to tug harder and I know they are getting close. I want them to cum while viewing Master and I. Then, it happens. First, one of the men shoots his load on the side of my face and shoulder. I moan at the feel of the warm cum as it lands on my skin. It doesn’t take long for the second to release upon my back and again I moan tensing with excitement, which causes my clit to tighten on Master’s cock. Now the third man is so close, I can sense it and I am ready. He grunts loudly as he shoots his cum on my breast as they sway from the thrust of my Master. I know my Master enjoys that as he begins to slam harder and more erratically into me. The last man moves to stand right in front of me and I look at his cock then up to his face. He is waiting for permission and I turn my head back towards my Master. Master nods at me and I turn back to nod my approval to the man in front of me. He looks pleased as his cum begins to spurt out in long warm strings all over my face. And it is at this moment I begin to convulse, tightening and messaging my Master’s cock causing him to cum inside me.

The men begin to gather their clothing while my Master stands me straight and removes my collar. The men begin to leave while I am led to the bathroom where my Master runs a warm shower for us. He washes me ever so gently making sure not to further injure my back. He only wants to assure me he is there, I am cared for, I have made him proud, I am owned and I am loved. I proudly allow him to care for me then it is my turn. I take the sponge and begin to care for my Master. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I want him to know I, too, am there, will care for him, am proud to be owned by him and I love him…

Beautifully Damaged…

Some of us come with our own wrecking ball. We will begin to construct a life that seems impossible to have then we activate our personal wrecking ball. I don’t think we are all born with one built in; it is given to us by all the damage caused by others. I think it manifests from all the wreckage left behind from past hurt and disappointments. Many of us suffer from our past and we desperately try to not look back. Some of us are more successful than others. Me, I refuse to let it go. I feel that, one, I deserve the punishment for not finding a way out and, two, it serves to protect me now. Or so I tell myself that. I use it and replay it so I don’t find myself repeating the same choices. But doing this keeps me constantly in the past and struggling to enjoy the good in my life.

What I will say is it is important to spread compassion and love. What I do have is someone who reminds me of my worth. Yet, it also helps me see it is all me and not him. Like I might say he is my happiness but that would not be true or healthy. What does he do for me? He helps me to feel my happiness. To see that I am wonderful and special. Maybe I am not special to every single person in the entire world but I do have people in my life who love me. I don’t have to be perfect for them nor lie about how I am feeling. I don’t have to hide or feel ashamed all the time. We are all beautiful and deserve to be happy. We can find joy in every single day. Look around you and just take in all the life around you and how lovely nature is. We are a part of something greater than any of us can ever fully understand. I matter and you matter because we are here and every soul deserves to dance, laugh and love…

Desperately carrying on…

Your eyes can cry out a river of tears. Your heart can bleed out buckets of blood. Your Soul can fall into the depths of your darkness. Yet, you must carry on. Does anyone else ever feel like life plays with your hopes and happiness? All can be going so well but then a few words or an action alter everything you thought you once had. Yet, you must carry on. If we live coldly and without taking any chances we never learn what could be. When we put ourselves out there we experience these highs of new friendships or loves but we also experience loss. Yet, you must carry on. Ever feel like the world changed in every way? Smells, colors, textures and sounds were different and more vibrant. Radiating into your body and piercing your soul. Then one day, it is like a truck comes crashing into you taking away that perception of the world. Yet, you must carry on. I believe we all have these experiences and I hope you will be the guiding light for at least one person in your lifetime. Spread smiles not negativity. Spread compassion not discontent. Spread love not hate. Because in the end, we must all carry on…

Through Your Eyes

I have been your Submissive for a year now and I love who I am becoming with you. My eyes couldn’t see the Submissive woman you see. I still struggle with it but there are these moments where I can see her through your eyes. She is vibrant, elegant, perfectly imperfect, selfless and beautiful. She would kneel at her Master’s feet without shame or guilt, as to what the world would have to say. Through your eyes is how I want to see myself and accept myself. Through your discipline and guidance I have learned to submit all that I am to you and you alone. This doesn’t make me weak but strong and divine. You have shown me to see the world through your eyes and it is filled with colors of the rainbow. There is no right or wrong as to how a D/s dynamic should work, but in finding the one that works best for you. I am so fortunate as to have found a Master that is kind, gentle and patient, all while being assertive, structured and firm. You provide all that I need with your compassion, understanding and love of me. I have submitted to you and give you every bit of me. I am honored and proud to say that I am the Submissive of my Master James…

Realization

I have known you for a year now and I never knew the impact you would have on my life. I awake each morning knowing I will hear from you soon enough. I am always excited to know of your day. I fall asleep knowing that you are with me in my heart and in my thoughts. The comfort you bring me is not something you find in everyone. You are unique and special. I have come to realize that not all hands reaching out towards you are the same. Not all lips connecting for a kiss are the same. The feeling of arms circling you do not all bring forth the same thoughts or feelings. Not everyone’s eyes will look at you with love and devotion. I have come to realize that in searching for myself, my wants and needs, I discovered how I want to be seen, cared for and loved. You saw who I was before I did. You called out to my soul and brought her forth from the hidden depths of my being. I now realize that you are the match that ignited my soul willing her to awaken and live each day surrounded by happiness and love. I have come to realize that I love you and I willingly give myself to you…

Guiding Lights…

  My mind is filled with so many thoughts and questions, overwhelming my senses. It is like walking through a forest at night while blind-folded. You can hear all the sounds the forest has to give. From leaves wrestling, the wind whistling, birds calling or flapping their wings, animals howling and pacing. You want to run. But how, if you know not where you are going? You freeze in place but the sounds around you grow closer and louder. You can sense your heart racing and you begin to shiver. That is what I feel when on the verge of a panic attack. What triggers them? Past demons. It is in those moments that I want to stop and give up. To end the torture and chaos that swirls in my head.

   This is where you come in, My Love. You are the one that can silence the forest and bring my tranquility back. You are the one who stands beside me, holding my hand and guiding me to safety. I will always follow where you lead me, for I know you will always be my protector. You bring me back every time without protest. Your soul blankets over mine and shows her she is safe.

  I know there will be times you find yourself consumed by your own darkness, but rest assured, as I will be your guiding light. I will encompass you within my light, feeding your soul with my love and patiently awaiting your return. For I am, forevermore, yours…

Sense…

I can see you everywhere and sense you in everything around me. You are a part of me and will go where I go. I used to have to close my eyes and think of you to feel your touch upon my skin, now I can feel it with my eyes open. It is a wonderous feeling to be walking along or sitting when suddenly I can feel the slightest of touches upon my skin. Much like that of a finger gently running up my arm or the touch of a hand upon my cheek. My lips tingle at the thought of pressing them against yours. My body awakens at the feel of your nails lightly clawing their way from my lower leg up towards my inner thighs. When I feel lost or lonely, I can feel your arms and love embracing me. You are a part of me and a part I never want to be without. I am forever changed and I am happier for it. You have shown me to love and be loved. I thank you with all that I am. I am yours…

Inevitable…

What do I want and who am I? Questions that confuse me. I walk along throughout my days without given any thought to these questions. So when asked, I am stomped and unsure of how to answer. I do not know who I am, on my own. I am one who has learned to find my happiness in other’s. I seek to do good and be good but bad days are inevitable. I wish to please and be pleased but let downs are inevitable. I want to be right and do right but failures are inevitable. However I find positivity in my daily life too. For example, the touch of a loved one can inevitably bring a smile to my face. My heart racing at the sound of a lovers voice is inevitable. And sometimes no matter how hard we fight it, falling in love is inevitable. We are all different and we are all beautiful. I do struggle with seeing this in myself but I find it so easy to see in others. What I do know about me is that it is inevitable that I will look for the beauty in my surroundings and the people I meet. Perhaps I have found my answers. What do I want? I want to find the beauty in everything I see and the places I visit. Who am I? I am someone who wants to be happy and spread happiness. We are forever changing, that too, is inevitable. I will feel lost but I will find my way back every time, for it is inevitable….

Everlasting Adoration

I am stuck in a dark place, in the recesses of my mind, so I close my eyes and what do I find? You, my love. I see you reaching out to me, grasping my hand tightly pulling me into your light. Your embrace lights up my soul and brings peace and tranquility to me. Looking into your eyes I can see what I cannot for myself. I see the reflection of your love and the beauty you see in me. Your eyes burn into my soul searing and marking it as yours. I can feel your lips against mine as you lean in for a kiss both stealing my breath but then breathing life back into me. You whisper into my ear words of love and devotion to echo there for all of eternity. I adore you for all that you do and for all that you are. Your very presence surrounds me bringing me comfort and protection. I am stronger because of you. I am changing because of you. You are not a weakness for me. You show me that I, alone, am enough and that I will learn who I am and my value. I adore how you adore me…